Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Inconceivable

Okay. I just watched AFI 100Years 100 Quotes. Okay I didn't watch the whole thing. I may have missed about 30 of them because I had to pee, I had to brush Max's teeth put him to bed, get ice cream, lock the door and many other nightly routine type things.

But I am pissed because at # 98 they had "Nobody puts Baby in a corner." This has got to be the worst line ever uttered on screen.
Now the show was interviewing all kinds of great screenwriters and directors. They all talked about how awesome some of the classic lines in film history were and blah blah blah. Do you know who they had talking all wonderful about the Dirty Dancing Quote? Rob Reiner? NO. William Goldman? NO. Penny Marshall? No. Cameron Crowe? NO.
They had Jennifer Grey talking about how awesome of a line this was. Jennifer Grey was the only person they could get to discuss this line. It is a horrible piece of writing for film and here is why? 1. The line makes no sense. 2.Patrick Swayze says the line in the movie. 3. She is not really in a corner when he says it. 4. Her name is Baby for Christs sake. 5.thru 8. Patrick Swayze says the line in the movie. ARRRghhh. I can't go on.

Anyway I am not sure if any of these made it in the top 100 but I know they should have if "Nobody puts...(I can't believe I am typing this again *whimper*) baby in a corner." made the list.
Here is some suitable replacements.

"As you wish", "My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.", "Fezzik, tear his arms off", "Does anybody want a peanut?" "To the pain!"

" Can I borrow your towel. My car just hit a water buffalo." ,"I'll have a bloody mary. A steak sandwich and uh a steak sandwich.", "Does this proposition entail me dressing up as little bo peep." "This is you and Tommy Lasorda? I Hate Tommy Lasorda."

"No more yanky my wanky."

"I don't want to sell anything, buy anything or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed or buy anything sold or processed or repair anything sold, bought or processed as a career. I don't want to do that. My father's in the army. He wants me to join, but I can't work for that corporation, so what I've been doing lately is kick-boxing, which is a new sport...as far as career longevity, I don't really know. I cant figure it all out tonight, sir, so I'm just gonna hang with your daughter."
"Joe lies...when he cries."

"Hold the phone. Why don't they just feed the tunafish mayonnaise. Call Starkist", "Love Brokers, Hah ha ha",
"PROSTITUTION! But what does that mean really? Let's break up the word. First there's Pros... well, that doesn't mean anything really... then there's Tit... we all know what that means... and then there's shun to shun is to say No! To push it away! To shun something is, well... it really doesn't belong in this word at all, really. "

Okay I could go on forever. Basically The line from Dirty Dancing sucks. It should not have been on that list.

16 comments:

Candace said...

Really, the entire Princess Bride script should have been there.

I saw the preview for that show and I KNEW sucky lines would be in it so I missed it, on purpose.

Stupid baby in a corner line. GAH.

barry said...

"And I say, 'Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.' And he says, 'Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.' So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."

Pmeaks said...

Bill, You must have rushed this one. Who cares about Dirty Dancing, unless you are a part of the Dirty Dancing. What happened to all of those Fletch Lines? Did any of them make the show?

Effie said...

Yeah, I'd have to say, "My name is Inego Montoyez. You killed my father. Prepare to die" and "To the pain" would have to be lines I would put in. Coincidentally, did you realize that "The Princess Bride" was playing on tv at the same time as the "AFI's 100 most memorable lines" show? Yup--I kept flicking back and forth between the two!

WILLIAM said...

From my research on this matter. There was one quote from Caddy Shack but it was not Goonga galoonga. No Fletch lines made the American Film Institute best quotes. Not even "John, John Cocktostone". which sucks. I agreed with most (95%) of what they had on the show.

Effie said...

Y'know, there were a couple of legit lines--like "Tomorrow is another day" and "Show me the money"...they may not have been great lines, but they were memorable....

Anonymous said...

"all the way up, with a red hot poker. I can play anywhere I want to now."

Anonymous said...

"we've got bush, we've got bush"

Anonymous said...

"squeeze 'em into the paint...make em chuck it from the cheap seats"

Anonymous said...

the list can't be right with out dad's favorite movie being referenced. Eddie and the Cruisers. " Words and music...you're the word man"

WILLIAM said...

I think they could have done a better job. It has to do with Pop Culture and movie's that made an impression. But C'mon, "..This goes to eleven" should have been on the list. Or even "We're on a mission from God". There are about 8 to 10 that I disagree with, but I understand. But Dirty Dancing...bullshit.

laurenbove said...

Oooo, I'm sorry I missed this special. PB was/is my favorite!

I hated the baby line even back then.

Nico said...

"I'm doing my best under really difficult circumstances!" - Ewan McGregor as Robert Lewis in "A Life Less Ordinary" ...sooo good...

G-Side Pride said...

funny read u have too much time on ur hands dude

Susie said...

OMG YES! And

"I gave her my heart, and she gave me a pen."
"Two dollars. I want my two dollars."

Love that you had "No more yanky my wanky" but have to add to the end "the Donga needs sleep."

"You're my boy, Blue."

"Yeeeah..I'm gonna need you to work on those TPS reports this weekend."

Sooooo funny coming up with movie lines. Great post William!

Anonymous said...

I LOVED THE SHOW...."YOU'RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER BOAT"...MY FAVORITE!! I REALLY ENJOYED WATCHING THE CLIPS AND LISTENING TO RAY ROMANO'S COMMENTS..VERY FUNNY. CAN'T PLEASE EVERYONE!